We’re All Imperfect – Especially in a Family Business
Well, I’ve gone and said it. It’s in the title. Is anyone shocked that I’m saying that none of us are perfect, that maybe occasionally we react too harshly, or too meekly, or that we don’t really know what we want to do in life, or we aren’t sure if we want to join the family business, or stay in it, or retire from it? And so on for another hundred questions, doubts, imperfect communications or thoughts.
What Makes Family Business Challenges So Complex?
In other words we are all human, and to be human means to be prone to thinking, saying and doing things that aren’t as skilful or effective as we’d ideally like. It also means often having different alternative thoughts or views on what’s best. What’s best for ourselves as individuals. What’s best for our own family ie, our partner, source, kids. What’s best for the family we came from and are still part of ie. Our parents, if still alive, and our siblings. What’s best for the wider family members ie. grandparents, grandkids, cousins, second cousins, and so on. Or should we consider those other people at all in our thinking?
No wonder I started by saying we’re all imperfect. It’s hard when looking at all those things we might have to consider, to be arrogant enough to think we’re great at looking at all those issues and always concluding with the right solution or idea.
Classic Family Business Issues (Still Hard to Resolve)
Here are the issues that come up again and again when looking at articles and books about family businesses. It’s easy to get jaded or bored by them if, like me, you’ve been studying and practising in this field since 1995 and lived in a family business setting since birth. But they are always there in the literature for good reasons. They’re hard issues to resolve.
And of course, as considered above, we’re not perfect at resolving them.
Succession
A great television programme, a frequent horror story, and an issue often worked out perfectly by facilitators or consultants, on paper, but which rarely work out properly in reality.
Family Relationships, sometimes called Family Dynamics or Conflict Resolution
Work-Life Balance, as if work wasn’t a real part of your life
Sometimes known as Setting boundaries. It seems to me that setting boundaries in practice means stepping over boundaries all the time but now being sufficiently aware of it that you feel even worse because you know you have transgressed yet another family business “thing”.
Ownership v Management, and potential inappropriate cross-overs
Money, Pay, Inheritance
Who gets what, and why.
Leaving the Business
Who, how, why, when.
Non-family senior management, leadership, and advisors
What are their roles? How can they get on with doing their job when they have to take into consideration the feelings and positions of family members?
Shared or conflicting Values
Views on heritage, tradition, and change in the business and in the family
Hoping for the Best vs Planning for It
Many senior people in family businesses I know think if they just leave it to Fate, chance, nature, it’ll all sort itself for the good in the long run. Well of course in the long run we’re all dead, and in that sense such an approach is absolutely right. But it’s the years before we die that can go very wrong if we are not skilful, thoughtful and considerate of the issues mentioned above.
The Risk of Arrogance in Leadership
I think as well that a creeping arrogance and sense of invincibility of decision-making can grow in entrepreneurs and leaders of business. A view of “I don’t make mistakes or if I do I am always able to sort it.” I saw this in my dad, and decades later, he admitted to such views, and how wrong they were.
Why This Conversation Matters
So why am I laying all this imperfection about? To try to help those of you who, like me, have been or still are in a family business. Specifically to help you understand that most people in family businesses – actually most people in any walk of life – do not have some of the requisite skills or traits to handle the challenges you’ll face. Your ability to control and direct your mind properly when thinking, when speaking or writing a message, when making decisions, when viewing what really matters, and much more.
Building the Skills to Face Reality
My colleagues, Russ Haworth and Alec Broadhurst, and I have created a course called The Path to help train people to have the requisite skills, mindsets and traits to better clear and calm the mind in order to best cope with the issues family businesses face.
A Course Designed for the Real World
Have a look at what the course contains and ask yourself honestly if you don’t need any of the things it offers you. If you conclude that you, your wider family, and the business would benefit from The Path, just get in touch.
